The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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