So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
