I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
