why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
