I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
