It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
