nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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