fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Its about making memories worth repressing
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
