There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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