She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize