Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
