you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
