who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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