I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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