He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
