If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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