That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
