Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
