He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Randomize
