and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
