the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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