I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
The dick lei will go down in squad history
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
