DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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