The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize