hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
