I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
