For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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