You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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