i would punch a child for taco bell
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Two words: nipple clamps
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