Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
