why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
This toilet bowl is my home.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
