I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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