I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
