Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Randomize
