Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Randomize
