remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Randomize
