I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
