oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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