some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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