i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize