God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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