im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
