Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
