Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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