A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
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