I'm eating all of the evidence.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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