it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
