Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
