meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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