At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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