i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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