He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
