awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
