o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
