i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
