I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
