woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
