I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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