Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I would ride that face into the sunset
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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