That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
We got so high we made milksteak
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize