I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
