Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
