How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
