no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
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