You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
