did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Randomize
