wanna go halves on a baby?
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
