your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize