I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
