Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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