doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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