i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
