I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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